Expedition: Florida

On the topic of local shamans

2008-05-04T17:40:00.000-07:00

I was returning to camp via rick-shaw from the aero-drome, (my shipment of restorative tonics arrive'd today!) when the following sight struck me as soundly as a dastardly Turk might strike a defenseless child;

Needless to say, my humors were thrown at once out of alignment, and it was only a hearty swig of Doc McGillicuddy's Nerve and Moustache Elixir which rouse'd me from my stupefie'd state. (While my nerves did in-deed become quite regular as advertised, I had no need of it's facial hair thickening properties. Damn and blast your eyes, Doc Macgillicuddy! I've already got as robust a moustache as a man can rightly ask for, and now thanks to your tonic, I shan't be able to go so far as the local haberdashery without lower-classmen stopping to compliment my moustache's lustrous, full-bodied sheen!)

No sooner than I had stood up, than helpful native children surround'd me, and brush'd the dust from my overcoat in ex-change for the candy and small trinkets they have come to expect. I did not disappoint, producing a slide whistle and some peanut brittle from within my vest.

"What manner of inscriptions are these?" I querie'd the most likely candidate for ownership of the autocarriage which had so dis-quiet'd me. "They are quite frightensome to even a gentleman of my fortuitous constitution." The savage struggled for some time to understand Queen's english, finally offering a string of phonetic gurgles, that I was able to decipher as an attempt to entice me into worship of the favored local deity. "Nay good sir," I spake proudly, "I was born a follower of the noble Zoroaster and so I shall die." What follow'd was an incantation un-intelligible to man or beast alike, and surmising that some manner of hex was being cast upon my person, I fled in terror. I am loathe to admit such a thing, but caution is the friend of the wise, where dark magickry is at play!

Concerning the local animal trade

2008-04-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

In the process of retrieving my tin of bromide from the boat, I came upon a locomotronic velocipede, that the natives have, in their simplistic ingen-uity, re-purpose'd into a means of transporting capture'd terrapins.

The runes read "LIVE TURTLES: Free for fire fighters, police or military in uniform". An unexpected windfall to be sure: As we all know, a healthy man in his prime goes through three or four turtles a week, and my own supply had recently run out!

I inquired as to whether the motor carriage in question made use of a coal or wood fired steam boiler as a propulsive motivator, but receive'd only the wide-eye'd confusion, characteristic of the population which time forgot. Thusly, I may vouchsafe with no small degree of certainty, that such a contraption is beyond the means of the native peoples to build or understand, and thenceforth conclude it was seize'd via banditry from explorers less hospitably met than I. Indeed, I would venture to say that this Floridian peninsula, is as dang'rous a land as it is won'drous.

More to come on the morrow!

My first tele-graphically trans-mitted field report

2008-04-19T12:35:00.001-07:00

This is the first of many telegraphs, in which I shall endeavor to accurately de-scribe the exotic curiosities of this savage peninsula. I shan't editorialize too much, for fear of tainting the integrity of the project, instead what follows shall be a series of colorize'd images, capture'd via state-of-the-art daguerrotype tech-nologie.

Having forgotten my tin of bromide on the steamboat, causing me consid'rable vexation, I was able to capture only a single image upon arrival:

I figure the cylinder to be a vessel, for the con-tainment of spiritous libations. The native runes translate into a threat to "mutilate my thirst". Such a proposition would be most dis-agreeable, I daresay! The monolith behind it, is some sort of primitive idol or totem, proclaiming the invincibility of the provincial deity. I entere'd the ziggurat and inquire'd as to whether there were any up-coming sacrificial ceremonies, I might attend and document. I could not understand his reply.